Do you ever find yourself saying the phrase “What was he thinking?!?!” For me, that phrase usually comes to mind (and sometimes out of my mouth) when I am frustrated about a situation. The truth is, thinking about what someone else is thinking or feeling is a skill we often take for granted.

This ability to share a perspective and understand what another person may thinking or feeling is called Theory of Mind.

Theory of Mind allows us to watch a situation and make an assumption about how another person thinks or feels about that situation.  Click here to download some examples of Theory of Mind skills.

Theory of Mind is what allows us to CONNECT with a character in a book, an actor on a screen, a person in front of us in the line, a coworker/spouse/sibling… and after all, isn’t CONNECTION what we want? To be heard. To be understood. For others to understand what WE are thinking and feeling.

For students with hearing loss, the ability to understand what another person thinks and feels is not a skill that comes naturally. It often has to be taught directly and sometimes that teaching only comes after we realize that they are struggling to make friendships and connections. So how can we, as parents and professionals, help them gain this vital skill in order to make the connections that will lead to friendships? Let’s start with some questions.

Does your child understand…

… people like different things?

… people have different ideas, thoughts, or beliefs?

… people may have different information?

… you can believe something and be wrong?

… you may look one way but feel another?

Here are some ideas you can do at home and in the classroom that will help develop Theory of Mind skills:

Think Aloud

When you are trying to figure out where you last put your keys, talk about it aloud. Most of the time, our “thinking” happens inside our brains. Talking about what’s going on in your thoughts can help your child know what you are thinking about. This can help them learn that others have thoughts that are different from their own.

Read Aloud

When you read with your aloud with your child, you are reading the words on the page. But don’t stop there… talk about the pictures on the page.  Ask questions like: “I wonder what will happen next.”, “what do you think will happen?”, “Why is the baby sad/crying?”,

Encourage Pretend Play and Role Playing

Pretend you are the waiter at the restaurant and take orders for dinner. Pretend you are a firefighter and you’ve been called to put out the fire.

Use “Mental State” Words Like The Ones Below

Ask New Questions

Sometimes the right question makes all the difference. Here are some higher level questions that help promote Theory of Mind and perspective taking:

• “I wonder how she is feeling?”
• “How do you think he feels?”
• “Wow, she looks upset/mad/sad. I wonder why she feels that way?”
• “He looks like he is thinking about___”
• “What do you think she is thinking about?”
• “They thought they were going to have pizza. How do you think they felt about getting Broccoli instead?”

Do you have a favorite way to help children and student develop Theory of Mind skills? We would love to hear from you. Share your ideas with us in the comments below.

About the Author

Carrie Norman

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Carrie is a licensed Speech-Language Pathologist and Listening and Spoken Language Specialist, Certified Auditory-Verbal Educator. Her experience spans infancy through high school in both clinical and educational settings.