Each and every day we, as humans, learn to celebrate the victories big and small, in our lives. This month’s “Perspectives” post is about just that… victory. Small steps in a lifelong process. Small steps that lead to big rewards. Small steps that matter deeply to those who understand. To those who have been there. To those who are hoping to get there one day. To those who watch from the sidelines, cheering these families on as they take those small steps to keep pressing on…every single day. Thank you Katrina for sharing your story of victory with us today!
“Today was a day much like others in the life of a single mom, with two deaf teens. We were up and out the door before 8 am, David and Grace were going with me to my workplace because they would be able to catch Pokemons there and we had an audiologist appointment in the afternoon.
Once we arrived at the audiologist office so many memories came flooding back. The years of sitting in booths, implants being thrown across the room, bribing with ice cream and other things. Now we walk in without the screams and tantrums, while hunting Pokemon. While watching another family with a younger child I was reminded of so many times sitting in the waiting room knowing that it was going to be grueling for the next few hours. I said a prayer for the other family that they would know the peace that comes with time. These strong willed children test us, but it is that will that allows them to fight for themselves in the classroom and in life.
However, this post is about the miracle of time. When Grace was 3 years old she was implanted on the right side. This was her second implant. This very strong willed child would not allow the NRT programming to occur, she literally threw the implant across the room. She would not have that “thing” on her head at all. We worked with her for the next two years, trying anything and everything just to get it on her head, not turned on, just on the head. Finally, I gave up. I was tired of the fights, of begging, of crying, and I said it is not worth it.
Years passed and we tried again. New maps, new audiologist, new, new. And success, kinda? She started to wear it on her head. Then we tried “baby maps” just to get signal through the cochlear. She was still wearing it. Progress! However, note NRT was still not something that she would let us do. Baby steps were required for progress. Hey, she was wearing the implant and there was something getting to the brain via the cochlear.
Another move, another new audiologist with an intern and now a 13 year old teen. We find ourselves at today, prime day 7.12. Walking in to check on equipment and maps. Pokemon hunts wore them out this morning and now we were at the audiologist office. I made a choice to not say anything when the idea of NRT was brought up. I didn’t give history, I just said we hadn’t been able to do it in the past. Let’s try it. I scooted up my chair next to Grace and told her to squeeze my hand if it got too loud. David and I tried to distract her with conversation, but there were times that my hand hurt and the tears formed in her eyes. It was not easy for her. I wanted to protect her from the “pain” but she persevered. What seems from the outside like something that is easy and passive has been anything but easy for her. She did it and now has maps that are usable and not guesses. Immediately she was speaking better with only input on that side. The “marbles” were slowly going away.
Ten years. This took ten years. Sometimes baby steps are needed for change to happen. I saw the want in her eyes with that first sound reaching a point that was just too loud, that want to toss the implant across the room. She didn’t toss it. She just held my hand and pushed through. Picking your battles is needed in the big picture. Keep trying is needed in the big picture. Pulling back and allowing children to make choices is needed in the big picture. This is a teenager who is in all honor classes, making As and Bs. She is reading at a 11th grade level, even though she doesn’t read much over the summer. Her speech is almost to the point that others don’t know she is Deaf. I have not done everything right, but I have done something right.”
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